You cannot avoid the truth. Things are what they are.
At the end of the year, Seth and I moved in with my parents. There, I said it.
I have been extremely embarrassed to admit this fact to anyone. And here's why.
Seth and I have tried to be extremely cautious with our finances while we've been married. With no credit card debt, it was really easy to accomplish that. And we've been very selective of the things we've done. Let me tell you, it has not always been easy. We went without texting for a very long time...in fact, we recently got it a few months ago, so we waited a few years before adding that extra expense to our budget. We went without television, we went without smart phones, electronics, new clothes, furniture, expensive dates...lots of things!
And I don't regret it.
When I was in college, I was an idiot with money. I had 3 credit cards, all of which were pretty much always maxed out, and for dumb things. Sure, I had great clothes, but I had debt collectors calling me constantly, wondering why I wasn't paying them back for all of those fancy clothes. It was a terrifying feeling, seeing those numbers pop up on my phone. So when I moved back home 3 years ago and started working for my dad, the first thing I did with my very first paycheck was get completely out of debt, and it has been my goal ever since to stay out of debt. I really don't want anything to do with credit cards.
And when we were engaged and preparing to get married, we tried again to be as frugal as possible. We found a really cheap, but really great, apartment, perfect size for just the two of us. Seth's cousin had a spare queen sized bed that was not being used and they gave it to us for free, which was wonderful. His grandma had a spare dresser, again free. My parents had a spare kitchen table, free. My grandparents had a spare TV, free. Seth's parents had a spare couch, free.
Why do all these people have spare furniture???
Just kidding, I'm super grateful. We've been extremely blessed since we've been married, and it has allowed us to stay mindful of our spending and to save a little here and there. Somehow, we are able to get the car working again every time we think it's dead. Somehow there is always just enough money (I know that all of this happens because we pay our tithing). However, when we moved to Nacogdoches and I was on bed rest, our great income went down to one little income, and we were so beyond stretched thin. There was literally no way we could survive on what we were making each month. And we had zero extra expenses...it was just the bare necessities. There was nothing to cut back on. That's why we moved back to Gilmer. And yes, our finances did improve and Seth was receiving a bigger paycheck, but we were still struggling. It felt like I could not breathe. I was constantly thinking about the fact that we were just barely getting by, and that our parents were still having to help us quite a bit. And knowing that nursing school was just around the corner and would really suck up Seth's ability to work the hours he currently is made us feel even worse about the situation.
We prayed a lot. I started working from home for my dad when I could, and I also started working for Thrive Life, which has been a fun experience. Seth picked up extra shifts whenever he could, meaning we pretty much never saw each other. It was tough. Then my mom mentioned us moving in.
Before you start thinking that we're all crammed in one little house, sharing bathrooms and taking short showers to conserve hot water, let me tell you that we have got to have the best living situation possible for living with parents. My parents have been richly blessed, and have a very nice 3 level home. They recently completed the lowest level, which is the first level on the ground. We have a living room down there, our own bedroom, Foster's own bedroom, and our own bathroom. We have a separate water heater, and we have privacy. Of course, we do spend most of our time upstairs in the kitchen and great room with the whole family (because it's really fun!).
As we were preparing to move at Christmas time, I felt extremely ashamed, and I avoided telling anyone that we were moving. I kept thinking, "We are 24 years old! This is the prime of our lives! How can we possibly be facing moving in with my parents??" But, I finally realized that we would have to tell our Bishop, and I would need to let the other ladies in the Primary Presidency know so that they could start praying about a new counselor. So, I came clean one Sunday at church. A friend of mine in the ward asked me where we would be living in Diana, and I sheepishly said, "My parents house." And she said,
"Girl, we did the same thing when we were first married!"
I have been blown away by the number of people who have said that they did the same thing, to avoid debt, or to wait for a house to be built, or because someone lost a job. We are not the only people in the world who are living with their parents, or who ever will. Instead of being embarrassed about it, I should be grateful that my parents have lived their lives in such a way that they can help us in our time of need.
So, we won't have to be terrified while Seth is in nursing school this fall. It will all work out! We are avoiding debt, and I'm eternally grateful for that. Foster will get to know his grandparents and his Aunt Madelyn so well while we are here, and that's a blessing. I never lived close to grandparents, and I'm thankful that he can be so close to all 4 of his (and all 7 of his great-grandparents, too!).
I'm not embarrassed to be living with my parents. I'm proud of us for having courage to do something difficult because I know we will be so blessed in the long run. It feels like I can breathe again, and I know this is going to be a really neat experience for us.
